If you love me, do the obvious. Let me go.

Has it always been like this?

Or maybe we recently have come to a day and age where we love people so much that we let them go, we risk losing them forever, just because we have this wild infatuation with the world. There is not much time to watch movies (I plan to catch up over my winter break) but of the great love movies that I do see, there is normally a scene where the two tangled protagonists part ways. On purpose. Is this the romantic way to do things?

I can picture myself by an airplane terminal and then “he” (whoever “he” is) comes running up, pushing through the throngs of people, yelling that he simply cannot live without me. And then there is the choice, to stay or to go.

I think I may have started off the year wanting something similar to this. Wanting to find someone who made leaving so hard. But do I really want the pain and the heartache that comes paired with it? Do I really want to have to tell a person that I come to grow and love that I have to go off and see the world for myself? By my self. Singular. 

It is tough, like all things in life. I don’t understand it. Maybe when I fall in love with the right one I will not have to roll this question around in my head. I will just know that he is worth sticking around for. My mother and I often get into this kind of debate. I say that someone should love you enough to let you go, she says that sometimes you love someone enough to decide to stay. Perhaps it is a delicate combination of both. 

If we go- well then we might miss out on the greatest love and be doomed to the typical movie plot. The person writes us letters and then our evil parents hide them from us, normally in the trunk of the car or wrapped up in nice ribbon, all 365 of those letters. Our lover is so heart-broken over the distance that they unexpectedly fall in love with someone else who can console them with their grief. And we can’t ever hate the person they fall in love with, because they are always so damn nice. It just gets messy when we come back from where we have been and figure out that our feelings are still raging and wild. Or perhaps if we go, they wait, and then there comes the chance of being together. 

I think our hearts are too restless to stay put. Most of us have this itching and passion to see the world and if we are held back from it then we never fully develop. We find some kind of regret to cling to. We always wonder “what if?” 

To stay or to go. 

I could very well be headed off to Haiti or South Africa in 2010, so does that mean I ward off any kind of love? I know that I will eventually depart, standing by terminal 17, sick to my stomach. 

I think its more glamorous in movies, harder in real life. It hurts more off-screen. But it may be worth it. It may be worth it to know that someone loves you enough to wait for you. Or that someone loves you enough to ask you one question, to never leave them, to wake up every morning in their arms. The real question we must ask our selves, when we encounter this kind of love, is not whether they will let us leave but rather if we will choose to stay.  

7 thoughts on “If you love me, do the obvious. Let me go.

  1. I think it’s kind of like the movie Candy. “It wasn’t that I was trying to wreck Candy’s life, I was trying to make mine better..”

    He loved her, but he was ruining her. She didn’t mind, but he didn’t allow her.

    And the book by Jodi Picoult, The Pact.

    She wanted to end her suffering by killing herself, and he couldn’t see her in that kind of pain, so he let her kill herself.

    “Let me go” sounds selfish, at times. It might not sound like love at all. But I really think it all depends on the situation. And you can find a lot of love in having to be apart.

  2. I found you through the 20SB debate. I want to say that if you love someone, let them go, but I know what it’s like to be selfish, too. I spent two years in a long distance relationship. Every time I went to the airport I wished and hoped that he would ask me to stay, but the question never came. Long story short, eventually he had the opportunity to take a job in another country. While I would have LOVED to ask him to stay, I just couldn’t. I couldn’t bear the thought of remaining in a relationship with someone who might resent me for asking him not to go. Obviously the relationship wasn’t right for either of us. Maybe if it were, it would have been easier for me to ask or him to ask.

    At this point, I would let them go. Always. If they want to stay, they will.

  3. I think it’ll always be hard, but what makes it harder in real life is that they will always be additional and contributing factors for both sides. Believe me, it’s not always as easy as, “OK I’ll let her go” or “No, I should beg her to stay” or even “I can just go with her”. Family commitments, life long dreams, jobs. This is all brushed over very flippantly in films but is very real and very heavy to us.

    Don’t necessarily give up on finding love in the mean time. Believe that cliched movie adage: if you find someone that you love enough and returns that, they’ll wait for you. Really. You’ll work it out.

  4. Love is so complicated. I’m still dealing with a breakup that I’m still not sure whether I should have ended the relationship or not. I used to think that if you were so in love that it would be so easy and everything that is supposed to happen would happen. That is far from the case. It’s a complicated mess.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog 🙂 Yes, DEFINITELY recommend Blistex Silk and Shine chapstick. It is my favorite thing in the world.

  5. Hannah, you know you got my attention with the image you chose for this blog. Dawson’s Creek is a perfect example of what you are saying in this blog.

    You inspire me. Let’s let D.C. inspire us together over break 🙂

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