Ten minutes left in my eBay auction. Shipping my tough stuff off to the highest bidder.

I bought my happiness for just three simple payments of $19.99. My problems sold for $50 on eBay. I purchased a rare friendship on Craig’s List. And I topped it all off by picking up a few dreams and passions from the 50% rack at the store down the street.

I could have simply said, “The best things in life are free” but I smiled at the thought of people bidding over blessings on eBay. Smacking Mastercard in the face by putting a price on the priceless.

Picture it. Two buyers, neck and neck, racing to call to happiness their own in the last 60 seconds of an auction. Out of nowhere, a third unexpected buyer swoops in to deliver to the highest bid and they win with ten seconds to spare. Just three business days and happiness is sitting at their doorstep, buried at the bottom of FedEx box.

Lord knows I am grateful that I don’t have to purchase the finest things in life: friends, gratitude, lifelong dreams and love. But how about sorrow, could you put a price on the chance to strip your life of the hard stuff? Would you whip out the credit card in order to swipe away someone else’s pain?

I stumbled across a Facebook status a few months back that stuck in my head so much that I copied it and have remembered it ever since. “Why do bad things seem to happen to good people? I wish they sold protective shields on eBay.” Now wouldn’t that be something? If we could Google search the cure to life’s heartaches and instantly purchase a shield that would repel all of life’s challenges and sorrows. Well, in that case, I would never need to purchase tissues, quarts of Ben & Jerry’s Ice cream or “Sorry for your loss cards” ever again. Half of Hallmark’s industry would be down if we could purchase an antidote to our issues.

I guess this is one innovation that really cannot be a reality. I thought a lot about this idea today though after talking with my father on the phone and hearing that my grandfather had suffered from a heart attack. He will be getting open heart surgery and we can pray that all goes well, but if he had that protective shield then none of this would have happened. No tears would have been shed over a morning cup of coffee, no worries would be running through the heads of those that love him.

Would I necessarily want to be able to purchase a protective shield? I am tempted to say no, that life’s challenges are what push us to be stronger, to hold tighter, to live a more full life. But at this very moment, and others that arise in every one of our lives, wouldn’t it be nice to simply press “Buy It Now,” enter in the shipping and billing information and watch the problems slide away with a swipe.

If that protective shield, that passport away from pain, was available on eBay right now, would you place a bid? How much?

4 thoughts on “Ten minutes left in my eBay auction. Shipping my tough stuff off to the highest bidder.

  1. It’s a little weird that I’m attaching all my coherent to films and books these days, but just what you’ve said is covered in the film(s) Abre Los Ojos/Vanilla Sky. And like the latter said (I’m not erudite enough to quote in Spanish!) “the sweet is never as sweet without the sour”.

    I mean people SAY it wouldn’t be life as you know it, it wouldn’t be the full human experience, if we lived the perfect charmed life. I’m not sure I agree. I’m not the luckiest of fellows but I have had, in the past, the odd week here or there where everything’s gone my way. My smile never dropped and I LITERALLY jumped out of bed and life felt like a Disney film to me. And while it was for a short time admittedly, I did not tire of it. I know it’s not a realistic innovation, but I reckon I would give it a go. I would love to at least try a life where I never again feel like shouting or combusting into a ball of rage. And quite honestly, when I’m in a good mood I’m infectious. Get on it, HK, I’ll be waiting for that eBay auction! 😛

  2. I’ve struggled with this question, usually during moments when I feel beaten, vulnerable, and hurt. And as much as the pain hurts in those moments, I still come to the conclusion that the joys in my life would not feel as good without the pains.

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