My heart is a messy bedroom but I can see the wallpaper just fine.

It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

Agnes Repplier

I wake up every day ready to embark on a scavenger hunt.

Find one black jacket Easy, right on the hook in my closet.

Find a pair of gym clothes Trickier. Potentially stored in a bin under my bed, at the bottom of my closet or in one of my many drawers. Folded? Forget it.

Find notebooks and textbooks for classes Ah, the challenge begins. Scavenge the desk, the bins and the floor. Find them in none of the just named places. Find them on the counter.

Find debit card The worst! Seriously, half of my morning is spent searching for a tiny piece of plastic that somehow dominates my life.

SparkNotes to the above: Hannah is messy; she wishes her life was not a constant search. She is actually better at scavenging than Sherlock Holmes and Dog the Bounty Hunter combined.

The idea of searching captivates me lately. We spend a lot of our times searching within our own selves. We search for courage, for resolutions, for clarity… And we eventually find it, within.

But what about happiness? What about the little things in life that make us smile? Should we have to search so hard for these? Should we have to dig so deep?

I will reveal a little secret about myself: I may do a lot of soul-searching (and searching for all my possessions) but I keep my trinkets of little happiness in a spot where I can always find them. No Matter What.

If I am losing you right now, just like I lost my ID this morning, let me ask you this: What simple things in your life make you happy? You, yes you! I am not talking the big grandiose abstract ideas that could not be lost in a messy room even if we tried. I am talking about the little things in life that make us smile. The cup of tea. The fresh smell of a new notebook. The aroma of brownies cooking in the oven. The sound of another’s voice on the other line. These are the little facts that we should know way before we need to know where our keys are or what meetings need our attendance this afternoon. We should know the tiny treasures that can prompt a smile on our faces upon their arrival. We should have them ready to go; no matter what. This is how we take care of ourselves.

Back track to yesterday: Pulled an all-nighter. Rain was merciless. Felt absolutely terrible. Hungry and agitated. BAD DAY. One hour before my next class… Game time decision.

Be in a bad mood for the rest of the day  VS. Take the hour and turn the day around.

Enter little happinesses. I trudged back to my room and put on my favorite pair of sweatpants, gym sneakers (which always make me smile) and favorite zip up. I sat on my kitchen counter, listened to Dave Matthew’s Band and treated myself by dunking Oreos into my jar of peanut butter while playing a few rounds of Bejeweled. Instantly I felt better. Relieved. Ready to take on the day. All thanks to the fact that I know how to make my own self smile.

No matter what we may be searching for right now, inside or outside of ourselves, we should make it a mission to find our own little happinesses. They are our “go-to”s on days when the world seems to spite us. They are treasures that allow us to feel home inside of ourselves. They are the simple secrets that relight our being when the flame goes out. They are the wallpaper to our hearts.

What are your little happinesses?

16 thoughts on “My heart is a messy bedroom but I can see the wallpaper just fine.

  1. Mine are my friends, though they may not be here in the same city as me, I know if I needed to vent or rant or just hear their voice/read their words, they make me happy. A cuddle with my little cat on my lap (I’m actually posting about her on Thursday!). The reassurance that no matter what happens, at the end of the day I’ll have been as honest as I can, and tried to be the best person I can be. Listening to brand new indie awesomeness on BBC Radio 1 and thinking of home. 🙂

    1. Those all sound so good. I especially like the “reassurance that no matter what happens, at the end of the day I’ll have been as honest as I can.” So true. Thanks love.


      Hannah Katy

  2. Dude, you write Sparknotes to your own life? Too many comments, so little time, haha, especially considering the Thin Mints revelation.

    I’m not sure whether I’ve told you my ‘little happinesses’ actually. But off the top of my head: sunrises; children smiling/laughing; a good acoustic guitar set. Put two or more of those together and I’m likely to melt.

    1. I agree.. And those things all work for me as well. Especially that cup of coffee, I love how it instantly makes the world better.

      Always glad to hear from ya Amy.


      Hannah Katy

  3. I love tea. But I have a special cup I bought in France that can turn any day around. It’s always a treat when I use it and I try to save it for those days when I need an extra smile.

    And music – dancing and singing along to music I love never, ever fail.

  4. I agree – finding happiness and the little things that make you happy are key. But when life seems to take you on a roller-coaster ride, filled with more downs than ups, it can be very difficult to even remember what those simple things were that made you happy. It’s tricky, but I do believe that everything begins with happiness, and self-happiness is and should always be, your number one priority!

  5. Yesterday it was pouring out and I had to rush home from work to drive out to the ‘burbs for my hockey game. The roads were a mess (and people don’t know how to drive in the rain). Turns out it took me over 2 hours to drive a mere 12 miles to my game. I never made it and on the drive home I was really upset.

    I was upset because I couldn’t go. So instead, I stopped at the grocery store to pick up some things for dinner and I went home and cooked.

    And afterwards? I felt a thousand times better. And I forgot about the fact that I missed my hockey game.


    1. It has been raining like crazy here as well, puts a damper on everything… and makes getting places ten times harder. But I am glad you were able to put it behind ya and find the bright side. So good to hear.


      Hannah Katy

  6. Love your little happinesses! I’m very much down with taking small little moments to enjoy the here and now. Lately I’ve been leaving the office to go lie in the sun for five minutes or so. It’s brilliant how a tiny little break can make you feel so much better 🙂

    1. That sounds so glorious. I love taking sun breaks as well. After this post I am wanting to add even more little happinesses to my life… not just save them for the days I feel I need them the most.


      Hannah Katy

  7. Agreed…it’s about the little things. If you always need some grand gesture or event to make you happy; then you’ll never really be happy. Also…isn’t the point of spark notes that they’re shorter than the original piece of work? I’m glad I stumbled across this blog, have a great day.

    1. Ha, I suppose you are right, never really thought of that… Guess I have butchered Sparknotes in the process of this post ha.

      Have a great day as well.


      Hannah Katy

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