Good things come to those who wait: Does this saying come with an upgrade after a certain period of time?


Step one: Go to Goodwill and buy a bunch of random shoes. (Matches not important).

Step two: Proceed to write name and phone number on the soles of each shoe.

Step three: Leave shoes scattered in random locations where people are likely to see them and be puzzled by them. Specifically locations where guys will see them and be puzzled by them.

Step four: Wait.

When my friend and I first devised this plan we thought it was absolutely genius. We could sneak around the fact that “one is not supposed to go looking for their match” and get those guys to come looking for us. So what if we weren’t being original, I mean, seriously, do you honestly think Cinderella just so happened to “forget” her glass slipper when it fell off her foot? The girl knew exactly what she was doing.

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The right guys would be the ones to see the shoe sitting by the gym locker room or aisle 6 of the grocery store, become genuinely concerned that a poor young woman with a size 7 foot was walking around with one less sandal in her life, immediately call the number on the flip-flop and arrange for a pick-up. And the rest would be history…

We would then proceed to have a shoe on top of our wedding cake and we would throw a shoe bouquet instead of flowers. Ok, enough. Too far?

Of course we were not serious about the plan. We had no real intentions of purchasing a boat load of shoes to scatter across the city in hopes of finding the one. But we were certainly restless and tired of fate forgetting all about us.

I hear great love stories wherever I go. I am beginning to spite Nicholas Sparks for infusing me with this belief that if I drop my purse into the water some guy is going to show up with his southern drawl ready to fish it out of the ocean. I sometimes want to stomp my feet and throw a mini hissy feet, “Why not me?! Why not?!”

Those of us who are seemingly “looking” to meet someone have been told endless amounts of times that we must put away the search and simply let time take its course. My response: Easier said than done. It is extremely difficult to stop looking when you want something or you feel you need something. It’s the same for when we lose a favored shirt or a good c.d., our first instinct is to tear apart the house until it is in our possession once again.

But I often remind myself: You are 22-years-old with the world at your feet. There is a reason that you are solo right now, alone on this journey. And when you stop being stubborn and attempting to dictate your storyline then things will unfold in a natural and perfect manner. Fateful Happenings. Things You Cannot Even Attempt To Imagine Just Yet.

So slow down and just move forward. Perhaps tomorrow, perhaps next week, perhaps a few years down the line. Either way, someone up there is listening to your heart and will give you what it desires.

It is downright selfish of us to want everything to happen in our own time. We scroll through our planners and we realize that it is indeed the “right time for us” and that leads to our belief that the universe should bow down to our desires. For lack of a more eloquent response, (or I am just itching to use this one) “Aint gonna happen.”

And if we cannot stand to wait it out then we need to be prepared for what is called “settling.”

We begin to open our own doors instead of waiting for them to open for us. We try to cram ourselves into itty bitty doors that we were never meant to fit through instead of waiting for a bigger one to come along. Something tells me that when a door closes on us or when one simply doesn’t open, it’s a sign that we are destined for a better one. We are destined for something or someone that our minds cannot conjure up just yet. Some interactions and conversations that have not yet been played out and over done on a movie screen.  Someone whose presence in our life will fit perfectly one day, if only we give them the chance to arrive on their own time.

We shouldn’t try to mess with fate or manipulate our day-to-day routines as a way to force magic into them. Where is the fun, the suspense, the romance and the passion if we plant it so strategically into our lives? Our Beginning Must Begin On Its Own.

I believe I could very easily insert someone into my life as if they were a multiple choice answer on a reading comprehension test. I could stand by an airport terminal until someone sweeps me off my feet. I could be a damsel in distress in any hardware store. But I think I would be missing out on someone else if I chose to do that…

Someone who won’t need a shoe or even a reason to sit with me for a while.

41 thoughts on “Good things come to those who wait: Does this saying come with an upgrade after a certain period of time?

  1. Oh my gosh, I love this idea! I know that’s not the point of this post, but still–kind of ingenious. Did anything happen?

    My love was my best friend for almost two years before we started dating, and watched me (and held me while I cried) go through countless other jerks, and I never realized that he was perfect all along. (Except I kind of did…subconsciously.) I’m telling you, it’s so true–it REALLY and truly does happen when you least expect it.

    GREAT post!

    1. Thanks Michelle.. We didn’t actually follow through with the plan but we sat at the counter one night in fits of laughter just drafting the whole thing out.. at the very least it would have been a funny experiment.. Maybe one day ha ha.

      Best,

      Hannah Katy

  2. dude, that shoe plan is GENIUS! You should totally do it! It’s like marketing… for your dating life. haha! Love it.

    You’re so young! Just enjoy the good things you’ve got going for you. You need to be comfortable and confident with yourself in order for a loving relationship to work. If you’re not secure, there’s more chance of the relationship turning codependent/unhealthy. I think you’re doing a great job discovering who you are and what you should be doing in this world!

    1. Thank you for the words of encouragement Floreta! I am fully enjoying the solo ride as of right now.. And hey, maybe I will try out the shoe idea.. Modern day fairy tale!

      Best,

      Hannah Katy

  3. I love this post! (I think I say that every time I comment, but hey, when you have great material you have great material). Yes, easier said than done about waiting and “not looking.” It took me a really long time to realize what I liked and didn’t like (I dated all different kinds of guys), but at the end of the day I figured out I have to be friends with someone before I can date them. I would have never thought the boy I knew since first grade would be the man I’m sharing the rest of my life with – but once we were together it all made sense (definitely a “lightbulb” moment). Here’s wishing you the same kind of moment – and you’re right – you have the whole world at your feet! Dive in and who knows what’ll happen!

    1. Ah so encouraging Becky! That is beautiful that you were able to find your soul mate in someone you had basically known all your life. That is truly something special.. And don’t you worry, I am diving right in!

      Best,

      Hannah Katy

  4. Favorite. Post. Ever.

    You know where I stand on the “when you stop looking” concept….but as an inherently impatient person, I can relate with this just as well.

    He’s out there. And I can’t wait to hear about your story when you finally do meet him.

    1. Ashlee you were certainly an inspiration for this post! You said it first on your blog, and that post of yours has stuck in my head ever since. Thank you!

      Best,

      Hannah Katy

  5. Ha! Love the cinderella plan, that’s brilliant! Whether prince charming calls or not, it’d be an amusing and hilarious way to pass the time till you found him. You might even find a few toads in the process 🙂

    1. Ha ha , everyone is so into this idea.. it is making me think I need to try it out just for some fun! And isn’t it that you kiss a toad and it becomes a prince? Or is that a frog?

      Best,

      Hannah Katy

  6. I know EXACTLY how you feel – I’m also 22 and have been single for the longest time. Lately it feels like out of desperation I’ve been jamming anyone I can find into the role of potential boyfriend, including my best friend, and the whole situation is so damaging and sad.
    So thanks for this post! There IS a reason we’re still riding solo at this point in time… and doubtlessly as soon as we stop waiting for it to happen…

    1. I know the feeling all too well Kirsty. I think its very big of you to realize when something just doesn’t fit though, ya know? And you can totally join me on my Cinderella excursion, we could have a total blast with it ha ha.

      Here’s to not waiting for it to happen.

      Best,

      Hannah Katy

  7. What a fun little plan 🙂 I love this, and you’re so very right. It’s natural to want to have full control over things, and want things to happen in OUR time, and we have to remember that there is a plan out there for us and we just have to have faith in it, and a little patience sometimes, knowing that there are lessons to be learned and adventures to be had along the way.

    1. Faith- now there is a word I need to dwell on more. I need to have more faith in the whole process and I know that it will ease everything. Thanks for the advice love, it is alway valued and treasured.

      And if I ever do send out shoes, I will send one over to you, just for the fun of it!

      Best,

      Hannah Katy

  8. It’s hard not to get sucked into what society deems as “normal,” especially for 20-somethings. We are so concerned with graduating college, getting a job, and getting married, that we miss out on the beauty the world has.

    Too many people rush into something – a job, school, a relationship – because they feel like they need that other thing to complete them. Reality is, we don’t really need much, other than food and water, to survive. It’s about finding the beauty in yourself and carrying it with you wherever you go.

    xoxo

    1. I like your point Kate. Touche. It does seem like a scripted series of events, that we must first get a degree, then get a job then meet someone and have children. I like the thought of going a little out of order, doing what I feel like, except I will keep the kids for the end.. That is for sure.

      Thank you!

      Best,

      Hannah Katy

  9. I love that plan! lol And I don’t know about not being original, that’s pretty fantastic!

    I think that in all things we want to know that we’re on the right track- the problem is just that relationships often just don’t have a track. I think that it’s a little like the shoes – if you just stay out there and meet people from a place of common interest you’ll find a good one.

    After all, you’re definitely NOT a damsel in distress 🙂

    1. Places of common interest, yes! I do think that is very important. And you are right, the whole damsel in distress deal is not going to work for me.. ha, thank you Kyla.

      Best,

      Hannah Katy

  10. I think I’ve mentioned this before…but you remind me of myself at your age! I wanted to meet The One so badly. I had a series of flings, but nothing lasted too long out of sheer fate. I was picky, I had high standards, or the guy was just an asshole. There were lots of lonely times…and then out of the blue, when I was not even thinking about it, I found Him. Or rather, we found each other. He was divorced with a 2 year old. Never pictured myself as a step-mother, but here I am! Keep your eyes and your heart open. He’s out there!

    My advice is to expand your horizons, hang out with lots of different people, and truly focus on yourself. I went through a significant transformation/awakening before fate brought me The One. The wait was brutal, but more than worth it.

    1. Well that is a great compliment because I admire you so much! And what a beautiful little story, I am so happy that you have found the one love.

      I am doing just as you say, while I am alone it is best to soak up the transformation and challenge myself even more. Love the idea.

      Thank you.

      Best,

      Hannah Katy

  11. Lovely post — and I think I would have TOTALLY been up for the shoe-dropping idea back when I was single and willing to flirt with just about anyone. 😛 Come to think of it, it could be a fun way to make regular friends (girls too!).

    1. I am very tempted to try it now.. People are rooting me on from every angle.. but sending out a phone number? Maybe I should opt for an email address..

      Best,

      Hannah Katy

  12. Have you ever seen the shoes at goodwill? I am not sure I would want to call the person who lost a size 7 purple and yellow pair of uggs.

    Just the same, I definitely understand your point. A lot of people think that the natural progression is college, marriage, kids, and when you graduate an many of your friends start to get married it can be depressing.

    But the graduation-to-marriage route is becoming less of a norm these days, and with so many marriages ending badly, I definitely believe it is good to wait for that special person to come across your path. That’s not to say you can’t be proactive in seeking them out, but being proactive does not mean you have to settle.

    1. Ha ha! So good! Those yellow uggs would totally cramp my style. I guess I will hit up the BOGO sale at Payless.

      I think its a good thing that the norm is shifting, I have often thought that a lot of marriages come on too quickly and people don’t know yet what they want.. hence the divorce. I am taking all the time that I can to figure out who I am and what makes me happy. That way, when the right one comes along I won’t NEED him to make me happy. He will just be the added bonus =)

      Best,

      Hannah Katy

  13. Ah, girl, I can totally feel you on this one. I struggle with it daily and I’m constantly telling myself to just be patient, live life to the fullest as a single now, and my time will come.

    1. You are back! Is it so sad and pathetic that I counted down days for you? I have missed your presence and its funny but I had you in mind when I wrote this post. I thought about those beautiful letters you have written and this was my way of being a little comical with the situation.

      Happy to have you back! I want updates on the fast!

      Best,

      Hannah Katy

  14. Fantastic writing! I loved this line: And if we cannot stand to wait it out then we need to be prepared for what is called “settling.” It’s so true, if we aren’t patient we end up with something that doesn’t fit quite right. It’s a choice we all must make. I must admit that in the past (college) I wasn’t always patient and it didn’t work out well at all. Remain confident in yourself and good things will happen!

    1. Thank you for the advice Holly! It is always always taken to heart. I don’t believe any of us should just settle, it is a matter of having the courage to push forward and putting faith in the fact that something even better is up ahead..

      Best,

      Hannah Katy

  15. My best friend (we’ll call her Mary) was longing to meet her Mr. Right when we graduated from college. I had just started to date my dream guy (who I’m now married to), but she had no one. She had hoped to meet him in college, but now those dreams were over. So she enrolled in a traveling, singing group and instantly dreamed about meeting a cute guy… or falling head over heels for the cute music director (who turned out to be a jerk). But after months of traveling, she didn’t meet anyone. She was sad when we spoke on the phone, because she felt so lonely and really wanted to meet the guy of her dreams. Mary was a tired girl when she drove back home to her parent’s house, and she decided to just give up on her search. When she woke up the first morning back, she heard the sound of a hammer. It was the carpenter her father had hired to fix their deck. Her mother made her breakfast and offered some to the carpenter. Wendy noticed that he was kind of cute… kind of interesting… kind of attentive. And they’ll have been married two years this July. You never know when he’ll turn up… but enjoy the journey. 🙂 You’ll meet the guy that’s perfect for you when you least expect it!

    1. I love love love this story! Ah, I definitely needed to read this… Thanks so much for bringing this little tale to me, it means the world.

      Best,

      Hannah Katy

  16. hey hannah! thanks for stopping by my page & yes we can be best friends! lol

    i love this post it’s beautifully written, deep, and very true. Sometimes life closes one door to open a bigger and better one later, just need patience.

    xoxo

  17. It’s true. I remember in high school when I got the roster from my long time crush so that I could “bump” into him in the hallway. It was so premeditated, that even if something happened, it would not have been the fairy tale I would have wanted. So it’s good that it didn’t. And it’s good that I read this. Because maybe that is the thing that needs to change – the planning. The saying goes – if you want to hear God laugh, tell Him the plans you have.

    1. Ha ha, I really love that saying… I have never heard it before but it so very true.. I am such a planner as well. My friend and I spent a ton of time on Google looking up ways to be approachable and all these premeditated tips.. Think we missed the point. God has it all worked out.. Of this I am sure, the hard part is just shutting up enough for him to speak and to quit squirming and moving enough for him to do his work.

      Best,

      Hannah Katy

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