I swear this post is NOT about Emily Dickinson. Pinky Promise… Just keep reading.

I straddle a line between wishing I could slap Emily Dickinson in the face and wanting to make her my best friend forever.

The thing about Em (Can I call her Em? I will call her Em) is that the majority of her works, the ones that make her the Angelina Jolie of Literature, were not discovered until after her death. So what’s the main debacle with the majority of your poetry meeting publication after you are six feet under? You are not around to explain it.

Em is a literature lover’s dream. We could tackle hours and ages’ worth of ambiguity in her punctuation and the intention behind her words. We could wrack our brains over who she addressed her poetry to and what she really was trying to say. But I used to fight the urge to stand atop my desk in lit classes to state, “Maybe Em was not all that misunderstood. Maybe she just wanted to produce beautiful poems.” Oh goodness. What would happen if we stopped dissecting them for a moment and took them for what they really are? Radiant Imperfect Pieces of Perfection.

I am known to go at life with a magnifying glass. Often my friends and family remind me that I should stop to be in wonder of this world instead of always trying so hard to understand every little thing. Every nook and cranny of each person I encounter, place that I visit, and experiences that I stumble upon.

Life Lesson #__Insert grandeur number here__: This world is too big. The number of people and their purposes are far too wide. We will never have it all figured out. Ever. No matter how hard we try.

Sometimes we need to throw out the books that remind us to not sweat the small stuff or the ones that teach us how to lead a more fulfilling life. Instead of “learning” how to live we might just want to try living sometimes.

I think about dying a lot. Not in a morbid sense, really, I swear. I think it’s smart to muddle over the topic from time to time. We are all going to die eventually. But that is not the point of this post either. I wonder about my bedside and the people whom I would want to surround me in my final hours. And bring me flowers. And kiss my forehead and hold my hand. And I realize that it is just that: People That I Want.

We have become so wrapped up in this notion that everything and everyone comes walking into our lives with a reason trailing behind them and lesson to teach us in their arms. Don’t misunderstand my message, I think all of this is very true. However, where is the balance? When does someone stop being a person we need to learn from and just start being a person we want to learn with?

I once had someone ask me not to turn him into a life lesson. A strange request. At first I didn’t understand. And I also wondered why he would ask that, seeing as I practically survive on life lessons. If they were food I would be morbidly obese. Trust me.

People don’t want to be life lessons in our books as much as they simply want to be in our books. To Play a Part. To Have a Role. To have made a difference with their presence, a difference that made us always want them to be there. Even if we knew it was not possible.

You see, life lessons are good. But People are Better. I would much rather lay down with someone under the night sky and its blanket of stars and together we could get great practice in wondering about this lifetime. In Trying to Wrap Our Heads Around Our Place In This World. I would much rather do that than to watch someone slip out of my life because I turned them into a lesson instead of a friend. Because I held too tightly to the things that they taught me instead of remembering to reach for their hand.

We should probably all surrender. Hold up our white flags and turn in our magnifying glasses. Admit that we don’t have all together all the time. That we cannot explain every aspect of our lives. The more I think about doing this, the more I realize that the walls would not come tumbling down and the earth would not meet an apocalypse with this declaration. The world actually might look wonderful with less mysteries for me to solve. And more mysteries for me to marvel at.

I don’t even believe I would want to figure everything out. What would be the point? Who wants a life that they understand so well that they can tuck it into their back pocket? I have yet to meet the individual who wants the life so little that they see and understand every bit of it.

I would rather stay convinced that we are all just walking around. Hungry. Thirsty. Confused. Content. Wondering. Wandering. But then we Bump. Bump. Bump. Extraordinary Bumps Into One Another. And we hold tight to hands and find companions in this world. Soul Mates. People we declare to be partners to us instead of just a passing lesson, a speed bump along the way, on our journey to the bigger picture.

So share with me a mystery of your lifetime, something you cannot comprehend but you love it just the same. But then stick around for a little while. I want to believe this life makes more sense with people sitting by our sides.

10 thoughts on “I swear this post is NOT about Emily Dickinson. Pinky Promise… Just keep reading.

  1. Yes, shooting stars – I don’t understand the science behind them or how they always provide a rush of hope, but that makes me love them that much more. I love this post. Sometimes the only way I can make sense of anything in life is looking at the relationships (large and small) that make up my life. Great insight, Hannah!

    1. I am the same way Emily.. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed in trying to figure out what this life is all about.. But then I remind myself that it is not all that pertinent that I have an answer.


      Hannah Katy

  2. Several of my friends tell me the same thing; that I need to stop and just enjoy things rather than making sense of it all. But wouldn’t it be grand if we met someone who wanted to look at everything through the same lens that we use?

    1. The lens of trying to figure everything out? I adore coming across people who are not concerned with the way things are and way, but they simply take time to enjoy the little things in life. I need more of those people on my team ha.


      Hannah Katy

  3. i used to look at the stars and make out patterns.. and many would be doing the same under the same sky. But if we join hands and do the same, we can generate many designs and enhance our own too. But then, we would start depending on each other for the joy of drawing in sky and also it might lead to ideas of incompatibility.
    I feel that however similar we are, we learn our lessons in different ways. But it will be really great to hold hands with someone who doesn’t mind sharing their lens.. 🙂
    My friends’ admonish me to stop thinking, but i guess it’s my manufacturing defect.. 😛
    Awesome writing dude!! 🙂 Am kinda getting addicted to your writing. 🙂

    1. Thank you very much! I am so happy you like it.

      I like your sky imagery just that you just painted for me, very thought provoking. And don’t worry, I am a bigtime thinker as well..


      Hannah Katy

  4. That’s a different idea… Allowing people to merely just be in our life story rather then a lesson to retrieve deep meaning from. That’s something I never thought about.

    Beautiful idea though. Letting people come and go and enjoying them for who they are rather then something more…. hmm….

    Love it. ❤

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s