Lauren on waiting for “Big Moments” in this Big World

I refer to this next guest poster as a better version of “Carrie Bradshaw.” Lauren is driven, motivated, and a real life friend whom I thank God for each and every day. Miss Lauren (LC) is the one who inspired me to pick up writing again after a very long while. I am convinced: If the world needs anything, it needs more people like Lauren. Oh, and she is newly engaged! LC does not have a blog of her own yet but I think we can work on coaxing her into one… Thank you Lauren for writing this post!

A little over a year ago, I had a column in Assumption College’s newspaper (which I passed on to the lovely Hannah when I graduated). Being an avid Sex and the City fan, I took the Carrie Bradshaw approach to my column- reflecting on life, love, family, relationships and anything else that fell into that category. I believe very strongly in one of Carrie’s quotes: “The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself,” which I used to kick off my column.

Here’s one big thing I discovered: the relationship with yourself is hard.

Throughout college, I felt I was driven by something else, something that set me apart. I never really had an interest in going out and partying like the rest of my classmates- I enjoyed spending my time studying and writing, found my solace in working out and running, and dedicated myself to my work so I would be ready for the next big thing, whatever that may have been. I was waiting for that big moment- the life-changing one, the one that would take life as I knew it, and everything and everyone, to another level.

I had a few ideas about what that moment would be: finding my dream job, falling in love, getting engaged (and of course my future wedding), or maybe something that hadn’t yet crossed my mind. Essentially, I was in a state of limbo- I struggled for a while with being different, and then I accepted it. I learned it was okay to say no to people- no, I don’t want to go to the bar. No, I don’t want to stay up all night. Yes, I want to go home and see my family instead. Yes, I’m going to stay in and watch a movie.

Saying no is a hard thing to do for a lot of people, but until you can, you might be torn, as I was, between going along with the crowd and doing what you really want to do. It wasn’t easy, especially since I was the minority in a large group of 21 and 22-year-olds who wanted to live it up almost every single night in college (which is great, don’t get me wrong- when else do you have a chance to do that? To each his or her own.)

But that wasn’t me. I counted the days until graduation, nervous for what the future would bring but at the same time ready to run out the door and face the world- and have my moment. I spent my senior year working on that relationship with myself and through the achievements, tears, heartbreak, minor (and major) drama and support from my family and friends, I came a long way, learning to love myself and all I had accomplished.

And eight months after graduation- I had my moment. Maybe it’s better phrased as a series of “moments” that combined, got me to the defining point in my life. My life was a whirlwind after graduation- I started dating my now fiancé, quickly fell in love, had several jobs which led me to my dream job and figured out who my true friends were- those who stuck by me. Things got better and better, and then on March 21, the day Matt proposed, everything truly fell into place and I could see exactly where my life was headed.

I couldn’t be happier now, but I did face challenges along the way.  I’ve had friendships that were on the rocks because of differing viewpoints and lifestyles, and I’ve dealt with the inevitable separation from my high school and college friends since our lives are taking different directions. I was frustrated at first when I worked at a job that wasn’t quite right and very stressful, and did everything I could to change that, too.

Is my journey of self-discovery over? Absolutely not. I am much more confident in who I am, I’ve weeded out a lot of the drama in my life, and I’m truly, truly happy. I know I have the strength to face any more challenges that may cross my path.

My advice: above all else, work on that relationship with yourself. Devote time to it, cherish it, relish in the fact that you and you alone control defining who you are. Say what you mean. Surround yourself with those who bring you up and make you a better person, not those who inhibit you. Believe in true love. Believe that love can change you. Look for your dream job, or something to dedicate your life to, follow your passion and don’t settle for anything less than absolutely everything you deserve. Quite simply- follow your heart.

22 thoughts on “Lauren on waiting for “Big Moments” in this Big World

  1. Great post! I also run a blog that will feature guest posters, and I wonder if you’d consider writing for that too, or maybe letting me post a link to this? L xxx

      1. Thank you for asking me to write for you Hannah…I missed it! I am so excited to hear about your new life in NYC. 🙂

  2. What a wonderful post, Lauren. I can see why Hannah finds you so important to her. Your message of having a relationship with yourself is very important, for a lot of reasons. This is a conversation I shared with my mom and uncle just last night, so to read it here today was a nice surprise.

    1. Aw I am so happy that you had the same conversation – it really is so important and so rewarding once you figure it out. Thank you for sharing!

  3. YES. Follow your heart. This is one of the best pieces of advice to leading a fulfilling life. Thanks for reminding me of this today, Lauren.

    I love how you never lost track of your true self, even when it meant being different. I did party quite a bit in college and now I am more like you — I do not like going out or getting drunk or staying up all night. Of course, I’m also a new mom, so that probably has something to do with it. But I still wish that I’d been healthier in college, exercising more and drinking less. You sound like you’ve had it all figured out from a young age. Good for you.

    1. Thanks so much for your comment. It was definitely tough at times but I’m so happy that I stayed true to myself and everything I believed in. I’m glad you are figuring things out too and congratulations on being a new mom, how exciting!

  4. Wonderful, wonderful post! Hannah, I think I need to be introduced to your friend 🙂

    “Saying no is a hard thing to do for a lot of people, but until you can, you might be torn, as I was, between going along with the crowd and doing what you really want to do” is something that really hit home with me. I think it’s often far more difficult to leave behind what’s seen as the more popular decision, risk isolating yourself and follow your own heart, but, as your story proves, when you have the courage to do it, the universe delivers 🙂

    I do hope you start a blog!

    1. Hi Emily!

      Thank you so much for your comment. I’ve seen your comments and posts to Hannah and you, too, are a very talented writer. I loved your wedding entries and I was so happy when you won the contest!

      Agreed that the universe delivers…I feel so blessed with everything that’s happened/is happening. I am considering starting a blog…we’ll see 🙂

  5. Awww I missed reading LC’s thoughts about life and love! Best of luck to you, Lauren, as you continue to plan your wedding and live your beautiful life 🙂


    1. Thank you MK! Best of luck to you with everything too, and all of your baking/cooking…so fun to read! I hope all is well, miss you! xoxo LC

  6. Such wonderful advice and an important reminder to all of us — sometimes we just need to believe in our dreams and follow our passions. If we don’t take that first step and all the subsequent ones that follow, how will we get to that dream come true?

    Best of luck to you with everything, Lauren!

    1. Thank you LB – love you too and I don’t know what I’d do without you…almost 20 years of being friends & many more to come!

  7. Ms. Hannah Katy!!! I’ve broken through the firewall in China!!!! And boy have I missed your blogs–three works of material!! This was the first one I landed on as I scrolled down, so I start by commenting on this one.

    This girl Lauren sound a lot like me in college. I was always saying no and staying in a lot. And it’s funny, right before I read this, I was thinking of the life I would have like to have left college with. I feel like there is so much that I missed, so many things that weren’t resolved, drama that wasn’t weeded out…. and then I come across this article and it sounded like I was reading the blog of myself in a parallel universe living the life I wanted to leave college with. Lauren is happy, found the life her dreams, the person to share it with, and that’s great. I wish I could say the same for myself. I feel like Ive failed the dreams of my former self. I don’t know who I am or what I’m doing, and I’m lost in the middle of China. What happened to everything?

    I loved reading her last paragraph though. When I read the words “follow my heart”, it totally resonated. It made me think about where my truly lies, because I have no idea. As if it were a question that is all-too-important but sadly been avoided. I think I’ve neglected my heart.

    maybe I need those shock paddle things that George Clooney uses….

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