Let’s Turn Our Lives into A Christmas Carol that the World Just Itches to Hear A Single Note of.

So I have been on Facebook for the past half hour and it is official. Facebook Official, if you will call it that.

There is no way to defriend your own self on Facebook.

Come on Mark Zuckerberg, how did you miss this one? There absolutely should be a “remove as friend” button on our own sites. I would adore the prospect of clicking it right now. Click. Click. Click. Friend. Defriend. Friend. Defriend.

The girl I have been for the past few weeks is no one that I would ever want to be friends with. I wouldn’t want to sit down and have coffee with her. I wouldn’t want to have a Skype date with her. I wouldn’t want to invite her into my home. I would very much delight in leaving her outside in the cold and watching her freeze her buns off as I sip my hot cocoa from the window of my third floor apartment. Ha ha ha! You lose! Ok. That was harsh, Hannah.

There comes a time and a place in all of our lives when we look in the mirror and we question who is posing on the other side of the glass. Not someone we know. Not someone we like. Not someone suitable for our friendship. But someone who seems tired and restless. Unhappy. Victimized.

And then we need to make a choice. Just like the Bachelor and all his friendly little reality star companions with their roses and shots of love, we too need to make a choice. Stay the victim or scream out the weakness.

There is a fine line between going through a tough time, having an off day, learning to wallow for just a little while and sinking the world with your Titanical tears.

You know what? We could cry So Loud right now. We really could. We could march right over to Central Park and have a festival of Cries & Whines & Shouts & Screams and maybe eventually we can even whine to the tune of Silent Night and have the Most Un Silent, Un Settling of Nights. But we won’t get anywhere in Wallowing. We won’t move a single step in Squeezing ourselves into Precarious Categories that keep us from our full potential. We won’t go stronger. We won’t make our lives the least bit longer.

A revelation came to me the other night as I watched the Christmas Tree in Rockefeller Center light for the very first time. Surrounded by half a million people, singing to Christmas carols that found as all with a memorization for their words, and looking up at the tree I began to cry. (I know, I know, Me crying? Say it ain’t so). I wasn’t crying over that moment. Nor the perfection of the season all around. I was crying because I had forgotten to say thank you. Night after night, age eight and upward, I would pray to the heavens that one day I could call New York City my home. While some girls wrote love letters to boys with braces, I wrote letters & symphonies & novels to this City.

And I am here now. Here Now. In the city who let me dream of etching my name upon its skyline for so long. And I never even thanked God. I never even said Thank You for making a dream of mine come true. For making my life into exactly what I asked it to be. Funny how we forget to say thank you. Funny how we forget a lot of things…

I may not know you. You may not know me. But I think you are strong, funny, endearing, resilient & capable. And don’t you forget that! I wish I could wrap up every one of those attributes and sneak them right under your Christmas tree right now and then beg you to open the presents up early.

Maybe you don’t even need those presents right now. But I certainly do!

We all need a reminder of this from time to time, that YES, life is hard. But We Are Kick Ass.

We were made for goodness. Sweet, sweet goodness. Oozing and dripping all over our lives just like the chocolate that trickled from my Max Brenner Chocolate Chai just the other day.

I was made for Skype dates with my best friends, near & far. Near & Dear. I was made for belting out an inconsistent tune to Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas is You.” I was made for a big blanket under a string of Christmas lights, curled up as creations dance in my head like Sugar Plum Fairies. I was made for sneakers & barbels. Protein & Boxing Gloves. I was made for workouts & hard work.

I was not made to entertain guests like Doubt or Insecurity. I was made to build Gingerbread Houses with my Dreams & give Eskimo kisses with my creativity. To Go Snow Shoeing with Compassion & Sip Eggnog with my Love for Life. I was made to be an expert of wallpapering. Wallpapering my life with love letters, strangers, & simplicity. More importantly, wall papering the lives of others with Comfort, Kindness, Understanding & Companionship.

I was made for the Rudolph’s of this world, the misfits, the lonely, the stepped upon. They are the ones with the Bright Red Noses, the stories that my ears perk to hear.  They are the ones who light my way and I don’t think I will ever stop seeking them out.

I was not made for a single “un” word. Not Unstable. Not Unworthy. Not Unable.

But it is one thing to say these things, write these things, voice these things. We need to live these things. Live Out Loud. Live So Loud. Let’s Turn Our Lives into A Christmas Carol that the World Just Itches to Hear A Single Note of. A Single note is all it takes and then the world practically cries over good fortune that we actually came here to sing the whole song. The whole entire song. Yes. Oh yes, we were made to sing the whole entire song.

What were you made for?

P.S. Anyone up for a Skype date with some hot cocoa? I will bring the Holiday cheer…

22 thoughts on “Let’s Turn Our Lives into A Christmas Carol that the World Just Itches to Hear A Single Note of.

  1. Hi Hannah,

    Great writing as usual. You really put your heart and soul and dreams and fears into your writing. Passion galore!

    This is the line that everyone faces on a daily basis: “Stay the victim or scream out the weakness. ” How true that is.

    If I feel like I’m being a victim, I do try to scream my way out of it! Often it’s a phone call or a face-to-face meeting or some other action. It’s always a step into the fear that’s victimizing me.

    A world of victims does none of us any good. Honestly, the world’s craziness and horrors come from people all over the world being raised to be victims instead of victors. Change that pathology and you change the world.

    In my dating years, I was the victim I learned to be. Never call boys. Wait for the call. I can’t tell you how many good guys I lost because I remained fastened to that deadly advice.

    You’ve spawned an idea in me to write an essay about the time I threw off my victim cloak to reveal my superwoman slinky suit!


  2. I love this. I love that you’re making your dreams come true – and remembering to say thank you. I’m always up for a Skype date – just name the time! 🙂

  3. Hannah,
    Your writing is so amazingly powerful! I love reading your posts, they’re always so incredibly insightful & they really make me think.

    I think I was made for love. I was made to give my love away to the man I love, my wonderful friends, my great family & even a stranger on the street who needs a smile.

    1. Thank you Allie. I really appreciate the beautiful comment. And being made for love is pretty remarkable, your friends, family and strangers are lucky to cross paths with you.

  4. This is a wonderful post (as are all of your posts). It really moved me because I have a bad habit of putting on my Victim hat and moping around, even when I know deep down that I have the strength and potential to tackle all of my issues. Thank you for the inspiration.

  5. just the two pics of you in this piece made me smile and then all the christmas combinations of words made me smile again ,much love

  6. This was the absolute best thing I have read in a long time. I saw someone write you a thank-you letter today, for all the ways you have made her life better. And I must say you truly do make the world better, just by being in it. I read this post at an absolute perfect time – I have something going up on Wednesday about the choice we all have to stop victimising ourselves, to stop wallowing. To be who we were made to be. I am going to share this post with a few people today, if you don’t mind. And I would love a Skype date sometime soon! 🙂

    1. Thank you so much for passing it on Em, it means the world to me. You are great, but I think I could say that to you 4,000 times. Skype date soon absolutely, we are well overdue.

  7. hannah, i just want to let you know that i only cry in animal movies such as “homeward bound” and “marley and me”, and this made me cry. so hard. not out of sadness, but just out of awe. awe, that i too would like to revoke my BFF necklace from myself lately. usually , i am my own BFF, but i need to keep myself in check, and i have this post to thank. thank you for making me realize that if i’m doing something that makes me happy, to do something about it. we are woman and hear us roar, and all that good stuff, right? right?! 🙂

    excuse me, as i print this out and tape it all over my room. you are oh so brilliant, my dear. the misfits and rudolphs of the world love you too. seriously. you are just too eloquent and brilliant for one person, it boggles my mind.

    1. Mackenzie:

      I think you are a gem. enough said.

      I think you and I have a bit of soul sister in us… I feel a lot of times that you and I are on the very same page. And thank you so much for the wonderful words, needed to read those today.

  8. Well, gosh, Hannah. You finally did it. You finally made me cry. The words you write are so powerful and I can’t ever leave a blog post without being inspired.

    “I was not made to entertain guests like Doubt or Insecurity.” <– This is my new power motto. And I kind of want to spray paint it on my walls. 😉

  9. Hannah, I just wrote a very similar post. What is it about Christmastime that can bring out the best AND the worst in our mirror-images? I would like to quote you on my blog. Do you mind if I post the entire paragraph about whining Silent Night, with a link to your blog? Let me know! Thanks!

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