Precursor: This blog post is ten times stronger & louder when read out loud with the following power ballad playlist playing in the background.
You all have broken my heart lately. Let’s just throw that little factoid on the kitchen table.
You’ve come at me with sledge hammers and I am wincing a bit as I watch this beating blood pumper of mine get completely annihilated – cracking in a way that would make those dudes with the funky white wigs think they might need to take a few more swings at the Liberty Bell.
It is a good thing, I suppose. In as good as it can be to feel your heart stretching like puddy, crumbling like clay pieces. Like the day you broke your mama’s favorite vase and you knew, trying to place yellow with gold tile, that it would never look the same.
You’re showing up in emails. On Facebook. In messages that simply tell me how I’ve hit a nerve. I’ve traced a subject that you needed more than you cared to admit before you came over to play in the muds of HannahKaty.com.
But the sad thick of it?
It’s uncertainty. It’s emptiness. It’s insecurity. We are connecting over all these grim feelings that wear frumpy bedazzled Christmas sweaters all year long and totally abandon fashion rules to wear socks with sandals. Those are the kind of ugly emotions we’re harboring and when I get an email or a word from you, I start to think, “When do we breathe? When do we stop and marvel? When do we take the weight from our shoulders and just know it in our bones that are we doing o.k.?” That some man must have indeed seen a tunnel once and realize that yes, OH YES, there is good, good light at the end of it.
So tis’ March. Did you “march” on in? And March has always seemed (to me at least) like that month that deserves a total head to toe makeover because she has buckets of potential but she never did know the purpose behind eyebrow waxing and neutral color palettes.
It is a blah month that is not winter but not spring. Not dull but not bright. A long, winding 31 days that doesn’t have flowers or showers. Just March.
BUT… I’ve decided that this month will be different. For this blog. For More Love Letters. For all of it. This shall be dubbed the month of the Pick-Me-Up. Yes, that’s right. I will spend the entire month picking you up. And you can pick me up. And we can get on seesaws and take turns picking each other up. And we will put pieces back together. And we will learn about the mud on our shoes.
And we will wreck the Ugliness with baseball bats as she swings and sways like the rainbow piñata in the back yard.
Boom. Boom. Crack.
Candy gon’ spill out all over the place… Candy & beauty & wellness & joy.
I’m no happiness expert. All I know is that life is good. She means well. And we deserve goodness. Hot chocolate. Unwinding at the end of a long day. Kindness. Blessings. Fun Dip. Stuff like that. And if we cannot even see that, or acknowledge that, then we so desperately need tie our ankles together and relay to realization together.
Friends, there is a reason that Katy Perry struck a nerve in all of us last year when she wrote Firework. And we all just kind of stood there and repeated the words in our head and wondered, is that me? Am I a firework too?
She knew the root of it herself, ” I really believe in people and I believe that people have a spark to be a firework. It’s just up to them, and a lot of times it’s only us that’s standing in the way of reaching our goals, fulfilling our destinies, being the best version of who we possibly can be, so that’s why I wrote it.”
I dig that. The fact that we are probably the one stepping on our own toes. Saying “No” or “You cannot” or “Don’t even try.” It is Us. Us. Us. Not that sadness or the uncertainty. US. And so, it is time to get out of our own way.
I am committed. Completely, 100% hopelessly devoted to you in a Sandy meets Danny “Born to Hand Jive” fashion. And if I have to sing power girl ballads to you all month then so be it. Cause baby, you most certainly are a firework.
Please do take this as an open and free invitation to come on over here and hijack my blog. Or be nice and ask me to borrow it. I’ll give it to you. Just draft up your perfect pick-me-up post, tweet at me, comment or email me and we’ll get it up here during the month of March.
OH and just to make it known… I have assembled your very first power ballad playlist here.
Adele- you cannot toy with us this March.