Honesty Hour: Celebrate good times… come on?


I want to be a party person. This is what I’ve recently decided.

My mother is a party person. She knows how to celebrate with the best of them. She brings the instruments. She orders the things off Amazon. She makes the person at the center of the celebration feel chosen. She rallies hard for others because people deserve to be rallied for. And I’ve decided that this is a great goal, a worthy goal for my life: to be more of a party person with each passing year.

My first roommate in Atlanta was a party person too. She would transform our backyard into this mystical celebratory land. She would blow up the balloons, buy the cake, and the celebrate the guts of this life. What I admired most about her is that she had no problem planning parties for herself. She loved to celebrate things like birthdays because it gave her this chance to thank the people who’d played their role in transforming her and remaking her.

 

I’ve always been an unnecessarily fear-filled party planner. I’ve planned the parties, I’ve partaken in the celebrations, but I am always waiting for this doom-filled reality to show up that no one is coming to my party and no one wants to celebrate me. Where does that come from? Why are we so eager to pump ourselves full of fear?

Celebration is actually spiritual discipline. It is commanded and it is a well-loved tradition of the Bible. So I am determined to get over this “not worthy of celebration” feeling in my spirit before I hit 30 in a few months.

 

So I am craving your wisdom and want to use this comment section to have a dialogue. Pick a question below to answer in a comment:

How do you celebrate the good in your life?

How do you get past the fear of celebrating yourself?

What do you think of birthdays: yay or nay? Anything special you look forward to each year?

What’s a favorite tradition you think I should adopt?

How can you and I better celebrate in 2018?

Let’s talk! 

37 thoughts on “Honesty Hour: Celebrate good times… come on?

  1. I think we all get so comfortable blaming “business” on not taking the time to celebrate life’s moments. I too have decided that 2018 will be a game changer for me on the way I approach birthdays. No more lazy dinners out at a chain restaurant for my family. I am looking forward to planning and cooking and giving the people I love a place to celebrate at home. Here is the reality.. if we aren’t giving birthdays and anniversary’s and all of life’s accomplishments their proper day then time has a way of stealing them from us. I say yes we need to throw the parties, dance in our own backyards and celebrate the life God has for us.

      1. Just last night we celebrated our sons 17th birthday..at home.. I spent some time planning out the menu taking in consideration what “his” favorite meal might be. I tried new recipes , broke out the real plates, (no more shortcuts with paper plates), and lit the candles. Nothing fancy but it was me wanting to show my son that he was important and his day was worth me taking off work a couple of hours early and throwing a simple party. I guess in a way this is me going back to the basic idea of making my home a place where we create the memories.

  2. I definitely struggle in the same area. I absolutely LOVE celebrating others!! I will forever blow the balloons and spend all the money and write all the notes in the world to make someone feel chosen and loved. I SUCK at celebrating myself though! Sometimes I can feel prideful or too much by celebrating my own. I’m looking for ways to celebrate in all areas- my life, my victories, my progress, etc.!!

  3. I love to celebrate but now that I’m approaching the big 50 I kind of want to hang back and stop the parties. My mother like yours always loved a party but for me I have grand plans but I find it difficult to execute them. I do love Christmas but it has to be with turkey, gammon and trifle. The trifle has to have lots of sherry, cream and nuts. I like the way you say that celebrating is a spiritual discipline as I’ve never seen it that way. Jesus found lots of reasons to celebrate with no doubt a good glass of red.

  4. What do you think of birthdays: yay or nay?

    I think they’re a good thing, and it’s nice to celebrate another 365 days around the sun…but I think they’re very difficult when you don’t have a very close group of friends or family to celebrate with. I’ve never really got into this thing of celebrating on my own and being content with that. It feels like it’s something we should be celebrating with all those who’ve loved and supported us. Celebrating alone feels rather self-indulgent to me.

    1. Yes, but I do think some people would rather celebrate alone and that’s okay too! I get so anxious with parties but I am trying to get better at just sitting with myself and enjoying that!

  5. Thank you for this! My bridal shower is coming up, and I have this hidden fear I keep pushing under the rug that no one will want to come. I recognize it as a lie, but it still doesn’t go away. Looking forward to what your readers have to say, and overcoming this together! Thanks for your vulnerability! It’s good to hear that I’m not the only one.

    On Thu, Mar 22, 2018 at 11:18 AM, hannah brencher. wrote:

    > hb. posted: ” I want to be a party person. This is what I’ve recently > decided. My mother is a party person. She knows how to celebrate with the > best of them. She brings the instruments. She orders the things off Amazon. > She makes the person at the center of the ” >

  6. I think there is alot of fear and lies about celebrating ourselves. It is scary to gather a group of people (each from different circles of my life) to celebrate… me?!?

  7. I would love to have the biblical references please? You mention celebration is a spiritual discipline and is a well loved tradition in the bible?
    I believe birthdays should be celebrated because God has blessed us with another year. Since my cancer diagnosis two years ago i remind others, usually women, when they say, ” oh no, another birthday, I’ve stopped counting, just let it pass with out fuss. I say ” no! Celebrate, jump with joy, you’re still here, with your family, be grateful, enjoy” because you never know what’s around the corner, old age is a privilege. Live well.

    1. Check out “The Celebration of Discipline” by Richard Foster. There is a whole chapter on Celebration as a spiritual discipline and its purpose in the Bible! So good!

  8. SMarch 22, 2018 at 3:28 pm
    I would love to have the biblical references please? You mention celebration is a spiritual discipline and is a well loved tradition in the bible?
    I believe birthdays should be celebrated because God has blessed us with another year. Since my cancer diagnosis two years ago i remind others, usually women, when they say, ” oh no, another birthday, I’ve stopped counting, just let it pass with out fuss. I say ” no! Celebrate, jump with joy, you’re still here, with your family, be grateful, enjoy” because you never know what’s around the corner, old age is a privilege. Live well

  9. I love birthdays and celebrations for the same reason your friend does – it is so much fun to have all my favorite people together in one place – its just as much a celebration of who they are to me! One of my favorite traditions (which my friends and I have only done a few times) is to put the person of honor in the middle and everyone shares words of honor and encouragement and prays over them. This is one of my favorite ways to be celebrated because there is nothing more special than hearing what your friends see in you, and having them pray blessings over your next year of life!
    Go for the celebration – but do it in your style!! What sounds fun to you? Invite your people, and enjoy the heck out of every minute!

  10. My son-in-law once made the observation that our family celebrates so much, they probably even celebrate mediocrity. Why Yes? Yes we do. If you accomplished something, anything at all, it should be acknowledged. A celebration is just an acknowledgement of a milestone, a job well done or something momentous that begs to be noticed. What a more wonderful way to bring your family together than with a little….or large celebration?
    The one thing I have learned about hosting such celebrations over the years, is that it doesn’t have to be momentous, the celebration only needs to acknowledge the accomplishment of the person being celebrated. Keep celebrating the little things because in the end, all those little thing are what really counts.

  11. Raising my children I celebrated the important moments in their lives as well as the moments of passing seasons. Having a spring party, a summer fun party or fall celebration….other than the obiquitous turkey day. As mentioned in previous comment, sometimes small celebrations give us a sense of how we prefer to enjoy celebrating life’s moments. But, maybe you enjoy these small celebratory moments already and want to add some gala moments to your life. Me? I jumped into themes for birthdays, the holiday celebrations, Harry Potter movies and life’s milestones. For me the thrill was the planning, the anticipation, the gathering of components for games, favors and gifts. I got books on parties, cakes and games. It was the thrill of the hunt, a job well done..and I still love a big splash every now and then. It sounds like your mother may have been or is that way. Consider that may not be how your inner party guru is wired. Try those shoes on and see if they fit. If not, that’s ok too. As of late, I find I am planning celebrations with others and it makes the anticipation, etal a shared experience which is a lot of fun too. As for you, I wish you all the best in discovering and exploring your party mojo. AND I hope your celebrations are equally fun for you.

    1. Thanks so much! Love all this wisdom! We had a Stranger Things Party last year and it was so fun to gather friends and come around the premier of a show!

      1. What a great idea!! It does sound like fun! I’m glad you enjoyed it. My family loves that series…so much so my granddaughter was considering going as eleven for Halloween.

  12. I have always had a birthday party, complete with a gift for myself (I always take the day off from work). I get myself a mani/pedi and enjoy some time with myself. Partying with others isn’t required. You can party just as well by yourself. Besides, you know exactly what kind of party you want.

  13. Hannah I’m currently reading “If You Find This Letter” and Oh. My. Gosh! I am a Christian & a writer and your book is like gold for me; I borrowed a copy from the library where I work but I am going to have to buy my own copy because I just want to attack it with a highlighter and pen, there are so many bits I want to take note of! I feel a real tug toward contributing to someone’s letter bundles because I have always loved snail mail myself and really want to help someone feel a little less alone in this big world.

    Re: your question of How do you celebrate the good in your life? Each day in my journal I make a list of all the things that I am grateful for that day – big or little, because everything matters. I live with a family member who is dealing with mental illness and possesses a very negative outlook on life, and as a Christian I just can’t live like that, so my daily gratitude lists help me keep her negativity from seeping into my life, which is already stressful for other reasons.

    1. Thank you for your words! I am so thankful to know the book touches lives! So cool!

      And yes, daily gratitude is changing me for sure. Just stopping to say “thank you” in the midst of the chaos is a perspective shift!

  14. This scarcely counts as a tradition because I’ve only done it one year, but it was so marvelous I want to do it a lot more! I posted on social media that I would be at a certain spot at a certain park on my birthday evening, and that whoever wanted to should show up, bringing something to eat if they came. I sat there by myself feeling more and more nervous that nobody would come, but people trickled in, then poured in, and there was food and conversation en masse. Seriously, so much good food, and people that I did not at all expect to make time for that showed up. And the best part, it took basically zero planning on my part. It was wonderful.

  15. I always celebrate my birthday. I am now thinking about whether I truly celebrate myself, but I do spend the day with friends and/or family. For a couple of years now I have invited friends to come to my house. Everybody brings something to eat and we have a dinner celebration. I enjoy simply spending time with loved ones. And I don‘t do that much of planning.

  16. I wish I had read this on the day you posted it! My 24th birthday just passed on March 25th. I felt a little down on my birthday because I didn’t feel celebrated in the way I was wanting or needing, but I was too scared to plan my own party, so I was leaving it up to others to do for me. I should have just done it. I always dream of throwing great parties for others and myself, but when the time comes I get scared of the possible rejection: What if people don’t want to come? Or worse, what if they do come and it’s awkward and they don’t enjoy themselves? I love love love what you wrote about your roommate throwing parties for herself as a way of thanking those that care for her. Such a beautiful way to view that. I want to make that perspective shift. It takes the fear and the pressure away from the focus being on me, and turns it back into a fun joy-filled celebration.

  17. I used to feel a similar way about parties, but then I sat with myself and asked the question, “What is it that makes me nervous about celebrations?” Was I trying to make everything perfect instead of enjoying the moment? Did people scare the ever-living out of me? Did I honestly feel like I wasn’t something worth celebrating? For me, I realized that I honestly felt like I wasn’t something worth celebrating. I was really good at celebrating others, but terrible at seeing good things about myself as a person. Once I figured out what was going on after being honest with myself, I was able to recognize and do the work that allows me to celebrate who I am and how far I’ve come. I started by asking people “What is good about me?” and told them to be honest. I made them promise not to sugar coat or tell half-truths. I made a list of everything that everyone told me and decided which things on the list that I felt were the most truthful in my own heart. I turned 28 this year on March 19th and I celebrated things like my kindness, passionate nature, fierce loyalty, and ability to work hard for my goals in life.

    For me, the best way I have learned to celebrate in 2018 is to get to know myself more and shut out the noises of the nasty things that people say in order to bring us down a couple of notches.

    My favorite way to celebrate the good in my life is writing down the good things at the end of every day so, that when the bad days and hard days come, I have the ability to look back at all of the blessings that I have been given. Even on the bad days, I tell myself to find one good thing. Sometimes, that one good thing is “The sun came out for ten minutes.”, but at least it was something.

    Bad days end, each day is a new day with endless possibilities.

    I hope that your Easter holiday is a beautiful one.

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