It’s on you.


It’s on you.

That is where it starts. That is where it ends.

It’s on you and what you want, and how hard you are willing to hustle, and how relentless you are going to be when they tell you to give up. 

Because people will tell you to give up.

They’ll look at you with crooked faces. They won’t understand your drive. And they are going to look to bring you down because they don’t know any better. They haven’t had the guts to go for it themselves and so they will try to tell you no. Impossible. Not worth the time.

Forget them. In the nicest, sweetest way possible, forget them and all the little barriers and boundaries they try to place on this life of yours.


Wake up. It’s your life.

You owned it yesterday. You gleaned the freedom today. Stop acting like the world runs you. Like the magazines run you. Like all of the folks who never perked their ears to really listen to you have a say in what you are going to do with these footsteps of yours.

It’s yours. You’re free.  Are you gonna start running towards it?


Don’t wait. Don’t stand in the corner waiting for the direction to reveal itself. Just. Start. Sprinting.  Peace will flood in when it’s right. But you have to move to find the peace. Peace comes through footsteps, I promise.

Think about what stopped you yesterday. Who was that person? What were they afraid of? And why did they govern you for so long? You’ve got one chance. You’ve got one shot. The world won’t cry if you never use it. It’s on you. Don’t make the universe regret you.


Look around. Forget “the box.”

Forget what you “think” the world is all about. Forget this, forget that. Forget the status update. Forget the selfie.

Here is what the world is really all about: Humility. People. People helping other people. People trying to make this hard thing, this impossible thing, more graceful for others. That is where the joy is. That is where the peace is. That is the beauty of every thread of life: we were never designed to go this thing alone. We were born with spaces in our fingers and you were born to go out and find the ones who fits in your spaces Oh So Well. 

Strive to do good. Strive to be the best version of yourself. Reflect. Learn from the Yesterday that made you feel weak. Stop letting people bend and break your heart. Play the music louder. Scream if you need to. Walk away from that toxic person who never had your goodness at the forefront of their mind. Walk away. Your goodness will be at the forefront of any mind that loves you fiercely, boldly, with no sense of tomorrow. You deserve that. The best of it.  You’ve got to learn to want that for yourself.

Learn to stand in front of the mirror without cringing. Throw off the chains of your secrets; don’t let them prison up your mind any longer. Let it out. Say the damn things that you have needed to say. Make them good. Make them worth someone turning their head to listen to you.


You’ve got a voice.

Most people would kill to have one. So learn how to use it. Start. Start small, start slow, start however you want. But start. Don’t go to the ground never having used that voice of yours for something good, something worthy, something that thickened your skin & buckled your knees & ramshackled your heart.

Screw December 31st and the resolutions you’ve stacked away in the closet for the start of a New Year and 12 bells clanking at midnight. It Starts Now. It should have started five minutes ago. It starts with a single question that turns out to be the answer to everything:

 Are you worth it enough to start?

Cause the new year has a smirk the size of Boston..

I turn over, pulling the white down comforter over me as the sunlight begins to inch its way under the shades that conceal a view of Boston. Sitting up after a few restless attempts to tug at my eyelids and fall asleep once again, I yawn and glance around the hotel room.

A smile tickles my lips. The possibilities are endless I think to myself. Endless.

Now I do not awake like Sleeping Beauty amidst a pile of goose down pillows every morning but 2010 saw it fit to have a birthday party that included a hotel stay and a night out with the girls in Boston.

2010, let me just tell ya, you are looking mighty fine. Is anyone else feeling this  way? A brand new year to fill with whatever we like. Resolution rebels or those rebelling against resolutions, no matter who you are, you officially have an empty calendar waiting to be filled with your hearts’ desires.

The catch is, no one can automatically be granted these next 365 days on the spot. We all know that each day we get is a gift, not a right. But will you choose to treat each one as such? If each day is a gift then why don’t we treat them with the same care that we do our new computers that we got for Christmas or that IPhone that we found under the tree?

If I choose to have one mentality in this new year, it will be the mentality that every single day is precious and new, begging for my attention.

Let’s treat each day, be it January 2 or May 25, as if it is a child- one that wants to be adored and loved.  Let’s fill the days with laughter and smiles, time well spent with those we care about. Let’s fill the weeks  with our deepest passions, the books we have wanted to read, indulgences that tickle our fancy, traveling- doing what we personally want to do. Let’s fill these next twelve months to the brim with good conversation, soul-searching, helping those around us, uncovering or refining a purpose.

I thought this morning, while making the trip back home from Boston, that I will be pretty lucky if last night is any indication of how 2010 will play out. If

Girls just want to have fun

it is, then 2010 will have a healthy portion of laughter that makes my stomach hurt, craziness just for the sake of being crazy, spontaneity: all uses of the noun, a carefree attitude, and fun: a word often approached as foreign.

But then I realized… it is up to me to make my year this way.

We need to purposely set ourselves up for the year that we want to have. Of course setbacks are bound to approach and things will get in the way. But if we set ourselves up to make the most out of the next 12 months, strung perfectly side by side, then who can stop us? If we begin this journey with intent as our compass and our hearts as our road maps than we will ultimately find the place that we are called to be in this year. We will find ourselves in the middle of dialogues that we are meant to exchange, tangled in encounters that we are meant to delight in and amidst events that we are meant to serve our purpose at. We have lots to do. Lots.

2010 has a smirk the size of Boston and I know it has plans, Big Plans, for each of us.

Happy New Year’s to you and yours!

2010, what do you want from us?

One day before we say hello to 2010 and a line is already forming outside the gym. The “healthy food” is flying off the shelves and the message boards are overflowing with hopes and dreams of a new and improved year.

Will this be the year? The year with smaller waistlines and more stable finances? The year of improved relationships or, dare I say, the love of our lives?

Well I have already made it clear that I am anti-resolutions. I don’t like failure and January 1 is not a good enough day for me to change my life.

But I think New Year’s is tricky because I cannot pinpoint where exactly we get these resolutions or what is our main motivation in creating them.

A simple equation: New Year’s resolutions + self transformation = greater happiness

But do we do it for ourselves or because other people feed us this equation day after day, week after week, year after year.

Maybe that is why self transformation is so hard because after a while we stop focusing on helping ourselves and refocus on being socially acceptable, being beautiful to society, having other people like us and enjoy us and want to be around us. I think we all know it, but it is not easy to be happy and it may just be because our standards of happiness are always shifting.

Well let me tell you right now:

Happiness is falling in love, so join eHarmony and make it happen (free communications weekend!). Happiness is losing weight so grab a gym membership and start running. Happiness is making more money so head over to Barnes and Nobles and go straight to the economics section. Happiness is the best clothes so screw the bad economy and start shopping. Happiness is a size four. Happiness is a full head of hair. Happiness is a better computer, a nicer car, whiter teeth. Happiness is a Snuggie. Happiness is unattainable without all these things and improvements. Think we can make this happen in 2010?

But in all seriousness, we will never be happy if we are constantly letting other people define our standards of what happiness is. Self improvement starts with the self, what you personally want.

Sometimes I sit with my feelings as if they are all my dinner guests, gathered around my kitchen table. I identify each one, acknowledge its presence and purpose for being in attendance and figure out ways in which to either help this feeling stay or get it to leave. It sounds ridiculous but as long as I dont actually cook meals for my feelings I still think I am pretty sane. But take for instance the feeling of stress, I search myself to identify it and then I begin to think of why it is there. I have too much going on. I have not had a decent sleep in days. I am not getting to see my friends. And after I know all this, after stress and I have had a complete dialogue, I actively change the circumstances so that stress will find no reason to sit at my table anymore.

I find that focusing on my feelings rather than all the hubub of the media and the magazines I get real results. I inch closer towards full and complete happiness. I never stop questioning my feelings, why I am sad lately or overly content. When we push our feelings to the side to listen to others, something valuable is lost: the self in self improvement.

So perhaps before or even after we have our New Year’s Bash (meet me in Boston for midnight!) we should take the time to acknowledge our self and what we really want and base any kind of goal off of that. Figure out our feelings and seek to change them, rather than running to change the bank account or the physique first.

Here is to happiness in 2010.